Thursday, October 8, 2020

4 Part Apology

Apologize like you mean it.  We can probably all remember a time where our parents told us to apologize to a sibling or playmate, and after reciting our non-enthusiastic "I'm sorry" we heard "say it like you mean it!"  I remember it being SO HARD to find a tone that worked.  I thought more about my tone and less about the action I needed to change.  The act of saying "I'm sorry" just seemed like a formality that didn't mean anything.

For the last few years at Achieve we've been practicing The 4 Part Apology - a communication tool that allows us to resolve conflicts in a thoughtful way instead of in anger or defense.  We will be introducing this concept at Morning Assembly.  Here the main idea:
  • Apologize: Remorsefully saying "I'm sorry for _____" and name the action.  "I'm sorry for shoving you."
  • Admission:Acknowledging the action AND the negative impact it had.  "This was wrong because I could've hurt you.  I didn't talk to you about why I was upset."
  • Recommit:Name what you will do in the future.  "In the future I will talk to you about what bothered me."  Change your actions and mend the relationship.
  • Forgiveness:Asking "Will you forgive me?" and/or "What can I do to help you feel better?"  

Here's how we break it down for our students:












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